How can I use technology appropriately?

During the last several general conferences of the LDS Church, leaders have warned about the dangers of innapropriate use of technology. In our culture today, we can access literally any topic at the click of a button or the touch of a screen. Of course, this has incredible advantanges and allows for improved communication, warnings, and connection with others. The world is literally at our fingertips. I don't believe technology is inherently bad, but there is a fine line between appropriate use and use that can become addictive, destroy relationships, or simply interact with others meaningfully.

President Kimball in an address delivered at a Regional Representatives Seminar on April 3, 1975, said, "I believe that the telephone and telegraph and other such conveniences were permitted by the Lord to be developed for the express purpose of building the kingdom. Others may use them for business, professional or other purposes, but basically they are to build the kingdom."

Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles warned, "All of the virtues and appropriate use of these technologies notwithstanding, there are risks associated with them that, when drawn too close, can put us in a spiritual eclipse and potentially block the brightness and warmth of the gospel."

Overuse of technology can affect the simplest day-to-day interactions. Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women General President of the LDS Church, said, "We live in a culture where more and more we are focused on the small, little screen in our hands than we are on the people around us. We have substituted texting and tweeting for actually looking someone in the eye and smiling or, even rarer, having a face-to-face conversation. We are often more concerned with how many followers and likes we have than with putting an arm around a friend and showing love, concern, and tangible interest. As amazing as modern technology can be for spreading the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ and helping us stay connected to family and friends, if we are not vigilant in how we use our personal devices, we too can begin to turn inward and forget that the essence of living the gospel is service."

It's difficult to see when it's happening, but inappopriate use of technology can ultimately destroy relationships and marriages. Elder Stevenson continued to say, "The use of social media, mobile apps, and games can be inordinately time-consuming and can reduce face-to-face interaction. This loss of personal conversation can affect marriages, take the place of valuable spiritual practices, and stifle the development of social skills, especially among youth."

Another risk of technology is using social media to idealize reality and compare your life to someone else's. Elder Stevonson said, "Many (if not most) of the pictures posted on social media tend to portray life at its very best—often unrealistically. We have all seen beautiful images of home decor, wonderful vacation spots, smiling selfies, elaborate food preparation, and seemingly unattainable body images. . . . Comparing our own seemingly average existence with others’ well-edited, perfectly crafted lives as represented on social media may leave us with feelings of discouragement, envy, and even failure."

In the April 2014 general conference, Brother Randall L. Ridd, second counselor in the Young Men general presidency, said, “Every day the world seeks to influence your desires, enticing you to buy something, click on something, play something, read or watch something.”

Our desires determine our agency. And our agency determines who we become. Brother Ridd said, “Ultimately, the choice is yours. You have agency. Each choice takes you closer to or further from what you are meant to become; each click has meaning. Always ask yourself, ‘Where will this choice lead?’ Develop the ability to see beyond the moment.”

Brother Ridd talks about four principles that can help guide our decision-making regarding use of technology, as well as other everyday decisions:
1. Know who you really are (a child of God)
2. Plug in to the source of power (spiritually)
3. Owning a smartphone does not make you smart, but using it wisely can
4. Remember that the Lord provides technology to accomplish His purposes

If we focus on the principles of the gospel, we can learn to use technology appropriately. A couple years ago, I started to fill my Facebook feed with quotes from LDS groups and pages, and I now only follow friends who post uplifting things. I never get caught up in political arguments or excessive posts from friends. My purpose of having a Facebook account is to stay in touch with specific friends, be aware of upcoming events, and post uplifting thoughts.

Elder Stevenson went on to say, "As Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson reminded us this morning, success in life doesn’t come down to how many likes we get or how many social media friends or followers we have. It does, however, have something to do with meaningfully connecting with others and adding light to their lives."

The wonderful thing about the gospel of Jesus Christ is that if we are doing our best to follow Jesus Christ we can keep the Spirit with us, and He can warn us when we start to misuse the incredible technology we have today. ("The Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil.” (Moroni 7:16)) When we remember that one of the main purposes of the gospel is to uplift and serve others, we can use that principle to guide us in our use of technology. A text might be a perfect way to remind someone that we love them or to send an invitation, but we should not limit our service to just that. Technology should enhance the way we serve, not replace face-to-face interactions and actually physically walking out our door to serve someone.

Elder David A. Bednar, in a devotional given to BYU students, said, "Please be careful of becoming so immersed and engrossed in pixels, texting, earbuds, twittering, online social networking, and potentially addictive uses of media and the Internet that you fail to recognize the importance of your physical body and miss the richness of person-to-person communication. Beware of digital displays and data in many forms of computer-mediated interaction that can displace the full range of physical capacity and experience."

He continues, "Initially the investment of time may seem relatively harmless, rationalized as a few minutes of needed relief from the demands of a hectic daily schedule. But important opportunities are missed for developing and improving interpersonal skills, for laughing and crying together, and for creating a rich and enduring bond of emotional intimacy. Progressively, seemingly innocent entertainment can become a form of pernicious enslavement."

I love the saying "Be where you are when you are there." I think too often we find ourselves thinking about those we need to text when really we should be thinking about those we need to be physically present with. Phone use can wait, if it becomes a replacement for respectful social interaction.

Below are some ideas I have seen work effectively for me, my family, or friends to help monitor use of technology:
- Have a phone basket during dinner for everbody to put their phones in, so we are all present around the dinner table
- "Be where you are when you are there"
- Every time I use my phone ask myself "Is what I'm doing right now helping to grow the kingdom of God?
- Don't let technology "act upon" me. Be proactive in the way I use it--always have a plan and don't get lost in it by scrolling until I forget what I was doing in the first place
- Always invite the spirit before I use technology
- Think of other activities to do right before bed instead of scrolling through Facebook
     - Read a book
     - Plug the phone in in a different room, write in a gratitude journal, do relaxing activities to put yourself to bed
     - Yoga
     - Find islands on Google Maps, then learn about their culture, language, people, and whatever else you find interesting (or countries)
     - Write thank you cards


This last quote wraps up this post well:

"With so many appropriate and inspired uses of technology, let us use it to teach, inspire, and lift ourselves and to encourage others to become their finest—rather than to portray our idealized virtual selves. Let us also teach and demonstrate the righteous use of technology to the rising generation and warn against the associated hazards and destructive use of it. Viewing social media through the lens of the gospel can prevent it from becoming a spiritual eclipse in our lives."

How can we live the commandments without coming across as judgmental to others?

This is a question I have tried to understand for years and years. I have always held myself to a really high standard with my values, and it has been really difficult figuring out how to avoid being judgmental of others when they make choices I don't agree with. Since being married, I have learned a heck of a lot about how destructive it can be to assume things without knowing the whole story, or to negatively judge or criticize another's actions. Any of my judgmental comments have backfired, even if at the time they sounded "ok" in my head. My studies and application of this topic have really helped me to be more conscious of what I say and how I react to certain situations.

John Lund wrote an incredible book about relationships called For All Eternity. His advice is to go for 24 hours without making one critical comment. If you mess up, you have to start over. He said when he and his wife tried it for the first time, he would get so far, then he would get in the car and start criticizing other drivers without realizing it. He would have to start over. This is a big challenge for most, and something I've thought about trying with my own husband.


Matthew 7:1-5 tells us:

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

This concept is crucial. I can't count how many times I have, with the best intentions, "corrected" someone for something they did, without realizing I do the exact same thing!! It takes a lot of humility to look at ourselves first and accept the things we do wrong before criticizing everyone else around us.


I have associated with several people who expect their spouse to be perfect, and if the spouse doesn't meet the standard, the marriage doesn't last. It is really sad to me how many marriages fail today. I came across a beautiful passage of scriptures that is encouraging to any couple who may be struggling:

"And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy" (1 Corinthians 7:13-14).

What a beautiful thing. Rather than running away from a spouse who is unbelieving or who maybe does things differently than what we might agree with, we can work together to be sanctified as a couple.


When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he wrote about how he was successful in sharing the gospel with some. In 1 Corinthians 9:20-23 he said,

"And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;

To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak; I am made all things to men, that I might by all means save some."

What an interesting concept. Paul put himself in the place of those he taught in order to understand them better so he could more effectively share the gospel. Christ did the same thing as He spent time with sinners. Other struggled to understand why the Son of God would associate with sinners, but He did it to give all men hope and faith in His ability to forgive and heal. He did not shun those who made wrong choices. He mingled with them and loved them. (See Matthew 9:10-13)


Moroni 6:1-4 illustrates the covenant we make when we are baptized to obey all of God's commandments. One requirement is that we have a broken heart and contrite spirits, that we are humble enough to recognize we are sinners and we must repent. Having this humility allows us to look inside our own hearts and not judge others because they "sin differently" than we do.

President Dieter F. Uchtorf, a member of the First Presidency of the LDS Church, spoke on the topic of judging others:

"When it comes to our own prejudices and grievances, we too often justify our anger as righteous and our judgment as reliable and only appropriate. Though we cannot look into another’s heart, we assume that we know a bad motive or even a bad person when we see one. We make exceptions when it comes to our own bitterness because we feel that, in our case, we have all the information we need to hold someone else in contempt.

"The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Romans, said that those who pass judgment on others are 'inexcusable.' The moment we judge someone else, he explained, we condemn ourselves, for none is without sin.5 . . .

"This topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon. When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!

"It’s that simple. We simply have to stop judging others and replace judgmental thoughts and feelings with a heart full of love for God and His children. God is our Father. We are His children. We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t know exactly how to articulate this point of not judging others with sufficient eloquence, passion, and persuasion to make it stick. I can quote scripture, I can try to expound doctrine, and I will even quote a bumper sticker I recently saw. It was attached to the back of a car whose driver appeared to be a little rough around the edges, but the words on the sticker taught an insightful lesson. It read, 'Don’t judge me because I sin differently than you.'

"We must recognize that we are all imperfect—that we are beggars before God. Haven’t we all, at one time or another, meekly approached the mercy seat and pleaded for grace? Haven’t we wished with all the energy of our souls for mercy—to be forgiven for the mistakes we have made and the sins we have committed? . . .

"The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.

"As always, Christ is our exemplar. In His teachings as in His life, He showed us the way. He forgave the wicked, the vulgar, and those who sought to hurt and to do Him harm. . . .

"When our hearts are filled with the love of God, we become 'kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving [each other], even as God for Christ’s sake [forgave us].'11

"The pure love of Christ can remove the scales of resentment and wrath from our eyes, allowing us to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees us: as flawed and imperfect mortals who have potential and worth far beyond our capacity to imagine. Because God loves us so much, we too must love and forgive each other.

"My dear brothers and sisters, consider the following questions as a self-test:

Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?

Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?

Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?

Do you secretly envy another?

Do you wish to cause harm to someone?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it!

"In a world of accusations and unfriendliness, it is easy to gather and cast stones. But before we do so, let us remember the words of the One who is our Master and model: 'He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.'12

"Brothers and sisters, there is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it through our own stubbornness, bitterness, and resentment. We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord’s way. . . .

"Lay your burden at the Savior’s feet. Let go of judgment. Allow Christ’s Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy."

Genesis 2:24 - How can a husband and wife "cleave" unto each other?

Genesis 2:24 tells us, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." What does it mean to "cleave"? I always like to start with definitions, and these were the best definitions I found: "to stick fast to," "to adhere strongly to (a particular pursuit or belief)," or "to become very strongly involved with or emotionally attached to (someone)." These definitions, I believe, help us to understand what it looks like to "cleave" unto a spouse.

Being recently married, I have thought a lot about what it means to "cleave" unto my husband. To "cleave" to him would mean to "adhere strongly" to our marriage, and to "become very strongly involved with or emotionally attached" to him. I want our marriage to the best best it can be, even when we have disagreements or miscommunications. Up to this point I have been able to feel close to my husband even when he's away for work, and I attribute that closeness to certain principles we have followed.

I found many discussions on the topic of "cleaving," so I will share the principles I found that I believe are some of the most important in creating a strong marriage. I will also share some of my personal insights and experiences in hopes that they might give a useful perspective.


In an Ensign article titled "The Blessings and Responsibilities of Womanhood," President Spencer W. Kimball commented on Genesis 2:24:

"The woman occupies the first place [for her husband]. She is preeminent, even above the parents who are so dear to all of us. Even the children must take their proper but significant place.

"I have seen some women who give their children that spot, that preeminence, in their affection and crowd out the father. That is a serious mistake."

An article written by a BYU professor, James Harper, relates this Old Testament passage to our day:

"It is all too common in modern times for husbands and wives to place various people or activities--work, recreation, extended family, even Church service--above their marital bond. This is not necessarily a conscious decision. However, the covenant made by Adam and Eve to leave parents and be one teaches us that successful couples will be careful to place each other first. The greatest gift parents can give children is a united and loving marital bond."

I find it interesting that Bro. Harper includes parents in this topic. Although we cannot control how our parents handle our personal relationships, we can apply this principle to ourselves by giving our own children the freedom to prioritize their relationship with their husband or wife.

The article goes on to say, "Marriage is not just a social contract between man and woman; it involves God as well. God is a witness to all marriage agreements and insists that couples should be devoted and completely faithful to each other." I have always loved the image of a triangle, with the husband and wife on each bottom corner, and God at the top. As the man and woman individually come closer to God, they naturally come closer to each other.

A general conference report given by Spencer W. Kimball as one of the twelve apostles also illustrates the idea of placing the spouse over all else. He refers to D&C 42:22 which reads, "Thou shalt love thy wife with all they heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." He says, "There are those married people who permit their eyes to wander and their hearts to become vagrant, who think it is not improper to flirt a little, to share their hearts, and have desire for someone other than the wife or the husband. . . . When the Lord says all thy heart, it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving. And, to the woman it is paraphrased: 'Thou shalt love thy husband with all thy heart and shall cleave unto him and none else.' The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes preeminent in the life of the husband or wife, and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse. We sometimes find women who absorb and hover over the children at the expense of the husband, sometimes even estranging them from him. The Lord says to them: '. . . Thou shalt cleave unto him and none else.'

"Marriage presupposes total allegiance and total fidelity. Each spouse takes the partner with the understanding that he or she gives self totally to the spouse: all the heart, strength, loyalty, honor, and affection with all dignity. Any divergence is sin—any sharing the heart is transgression. As we should have "an eye single to the glory of God" (D&C 4:5; D&C 82:19) so should we have an eye, an ear, a heart single to the marriage and the spouse and family."


Matthew Richardson, a leader in the LDS Church, wrote an article about "leaving, cleaving, and becoming one." He illustrates that "cleaving" means to save our treasured feelings for our spouse rather than sharing them with others.

To become one, "differences in communication patterns, reasoning, emotions, and even personal preferences may actually benefit a couple." I have seen this over and over again in my own marriage. Because I am often an emotional thinker, it is so helpful to have a husband who is more logical and can make decisions unemotionally. We both have very different interests--I love music, writing, and administrative work, and he loves guns, trucks, and manual labor. He is a great salesman and has a business-mindset, and I have neither of those skills. I tell him that I don't know how I ever lived without him because I lack all the skills and knowledge he has, and vice versa. We balance each other perfectly, but only when we accept our differences rather than fighting against them.

Another principle that Bro. Richardson teaches is to eliminate the "I" and "my" and replace those with "we" and "our." In our congregation, my husband and I used to teach Sunday School to 7 and 8-year-old children. After one of our lessons my husband asked me, "When you testify, will you use the word we instead of I? I think it is super important that the testimony comes from both of us, because that is so much more powerful, and it makes us more unified." I loved this idea and was grateful that he so respectfully recognized something we could improve. I have remembered this since and make efforts to use "we" language rather than "I" language.


Elder Carl B. Cook, another leader in the LDS Church, discussed ways we can cleave unto each other and unto God. He says that a husband and a wife who cleave unto each other are "the same" or equal. In the scriptures, we read about Adam and Eve and how they always worked together: "Adam began to till the earth . . . and Eve, also, his wife, did labor with him" (Moses 5:1).

Couples can work together by "[giving] highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities" (Handbook 2 Administering the Church 2010, 1.4.1). Bro. Cook says that "we must set aside, and turn away from things that distract us from our marriages and our families. We must simplify our lives, and give highest priority to basic worship activities in our homes. . . . We must spend time with those we love."

Bro. Cook says that "cleaving to each other requires faith, diligence, and persistence." I have known couples who have told me that sometimes they just "stop trying." "It's too much work," or "Sometime's it's just too tiring to do all those little things to keep our marriage strong." I have a firm testimony that by consistently doing the simple tasks that prophets have taught will keep our relationships strong, we will always feel close and connected and our love for each other will deepen. My goal is to avoid the alternative: simply not trying.

In James Harper's article referenced earlier in this post, Elder Marion G. Romney is cited as he discusses the phrase "and Eve ... did labor with [Adam]." He says, “The word with … is very significant. It means more than physical labor. It connotes a common purpose, understanding, cooperation, and love. . . .

"Even when circumstances justify a wife’s working away from home to support her family, she should be laboring ‘with,’ not on her own nor in conflict with her husband. . . .

"In Latter-day Saint families the husband and wife must be one." (Relief Society Magazine, Feb. 1968, pp. 85–86.)

The article concludes that "from what we know of the relationship between Adam and Eve . . . the executive council of husband and wife together is extremely important in the organization of families. Husbands and wives should counsel together in decisions related to communication and activities in the family, rearing and disciplining of children, food storage and other aspects of family welfare, finances, work and career decisions, family work responsibilities, housekeeping tasks, recreation, and all other decisions that affect their bond with each other."


Bro. Harper also addresses the importance of teaching children, and how a couple can do that in unity. "Ideally, as equals before God, deeply devoted and in love with each other, husband and wife [share] together one voice in the training of their children." Spiritual unity in a husband and wife companionship creates an environment for children to feel safe and at peace among the trials of the world.

In the Old Testament, families valued traditions and activities to maintain a strong family identity. Today, as we establish family traditions and participate in family activities, we can maintain strong ties within our immediate and extended families. As a husband and wife work to create a new family, they can work together to establish new traditions, maintain old ones, plan activities, and participate in other planned family activities. Keeping family time as a priority I believe helps to build a stronger connection between a husband and wife.

My husband and I both come from very large families. As a result, we are constantly being invited to birthday parties, dinners, baptisms, church events, holiday activities, and more. We have really strived to maintain balance in the amount of time we spend with each of our families. My husband is really good at knowing when enough is enough, and when we need to spend one-on-one time with each other. When we are able, we give time to each other's families in order to show our love and our commitment to family.


I love Bro. Harper's conclusion: ". . . Examples from the Old Testament help remind us of the importance of the family in Heavenly Father’s eternal plan. The experience of this earth’s first family teaches that marriage is not a social convention but is God-ordained as an eternal partnership. The example of religious and character development in ancient Hebrew families reminds modern parents of the necessity of training children in spiritual areas. The importance the Old Testament places on the extended family and its traditions guides us to seek modern family traditions that link the generations together. Such principles, taught in the Old Testament, can help families in our day forge loving, nurturing bonds to sustain them throughout eternity."


I know that working diligently to "cleave" unto a spouse is one of the most important things we can do in this life. Trials will come, we will make mistakes, we will be required to forgive, but ultimately it is up to us as a couple to work together in love and unity. If we do this, God guarantees that we will have a happy life. As Elder L. Whitney Clayton said, “The promises of the Lord . . . come as the delightful, predictable consequences of faithfully living the gospel of Jesus Christ” (L. Whitney Clayton, “Marriage: Watch and Learn,” Ensign, May 2013).

How do relationships lead to happiness?

I asked myself this question before opening my scriptures, and Jacob 4 contained some pretty great insights!

Jacob 4:2-3: "We can write a few words . . . which will give our children, and also our beloved brethren, a small degree of knowledge concerning us, or concerning their fathers--Now in this thing we do rejoice; and we labor diligently to engraven the words upon plates, hoping that our beloved brethren and our children will receive them with thankful hearts, and look upon them that they may learn with joy and not with sorry, neither with contempt, concerning their first parents." 

This passage associates the words "rejoice," "thankful," and "joy" with learning and knowing about others' experiences. So much of what we do comes as a result of what we have learned from other people. We can "learn with joy" as we get to know others and learn from them.

Jacob 4:4, 6, 13: "For this intent have we written these things, that they may know that we knew of Christ, and we had a hope of his glory many hundred years before his coming; and not only we ourselves had a hope of his glory, but also all the holy prophets which were before us. . . . Wherefore, we search the prophets, and we have many revelations and the spirit of prophecy; and having all these witnesses we obtain a hope, and our faith becometh unshaken. . . . The Spirit speaketh truth and lieth not. . . . But behold, we are not witnesses alone in these things; for God also spake them unto prophets of old."

The scriptures were written that we might learn from people who we would never even meet in this life. Their experiences give us hope and faith. This life is all about inspiring others to learn truth and to find joy in it. There is power that comes from having multiple witnesses--there is power in numbers.

As we form a relationship with the scriptures and those who wrote in them, we increase in knowledge, wisdom, power, hope, faith, and joy.

Jacob 4:11: "Be reconciled unto [God] through the atonement of Christ, his Only Begotten Son, and ye may obtain a resurrection, according to the power of the resurrection which is in Christ, and be presented as the first-fruits of Christ unto God, having faith, and obtained a good hope of glory in him before he manifesteth himself in the flesh." 

This passage gives an example of the best relationship we could ever invest in: a relationship with Christ. It is only through building a relationship with Him that we can be "reconciled unto God" and receive eternal life or a fulness of joy.

Jacob 4:14: ". . . And because they desired it God hath done it."

We get what we desire. If you have righteous desires, you will attract righteous friends. Your relationships will be built off of a solid foundation.

Jacob 4:18: "Behold, my beloved brethren, I will unfold this mystery unto you; if I do not, by any means, get shaken from my firmness in the Spirit, and stumble because of my anxiety for you."

We need a solid foundation in order to teach each other and maintain healthy relationships.


Having a relationship doesn't mean simply knowing someone. Investing in a relationship with someone means learning from them, becoming like them, and opening up to them. It means trust and vulnerability. It requires constantly bettering yourself so you can contribute more to the relationship.

Ultimate happiness comes as we invest in relationships with others, especially with Christ. As we learn from Him, become like Him, open up to Him, trust Him, and change as a result of our relationship with Him, we will understand the way all relationships should be formed. We will find true joy and lasting happiness.