The footnotes in the King James version of the Bible bring us to these verses:
"For whosoever will save his life, must be willing to lose it for my sake; and whosoever will be willing to lose his life for my sake, the same shall lose it. For what doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world, and yet he receive him not whom God hath ordained, and he lose his own soul, and he himself be a castaway?" (JST, Luke 9:24-25)
I think that is the ultimate goal of this life, to figure out how to "lose our lives" in the service of God. The gospel teaches us that ultimate joy is found when we conduct our lives according to God's will, and that will bring the ultimate blessings in the world to come.
I've been studying Fowler's 6 Stages of Faith, and I think the person who lives this scripture to its fullest would be a Level 6 person: one who has reached a state of universal faith and who lives only to benefit others and please God. This is a rare stage to achieve, but I think John 12:25 is ideal in helping us understand our goal in working towards that highest stage of faith.
These articles answered this question best for me:
https://faithalone.org/grace-in-focus-articles/hating-your-life-to-keep-it-for-eternal-life-john-1225/
https://biblehub.com/commentaries/john/12-25.htm
Simply put, "The person who 'loves his life [psyche]' is one who is living for the now. He is contradicting Jesus’ command, 'Don’t lay up treasure on earth' (Matt 6:19). He is failing to serve Jesus: 'If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor,' (John 12:26).
"The person who 'hates his life [psyche]' is one who is living for the life to come. He is obeying Jesus’ command, 'Lay up treasure in heaven' (Matt 6:20). He is following Jesus and serving Him and will one day be honored by God (John 12:26)."
"Losing your life" requires a longterm perspective--it requires patience, faith, trust, and a desire to follow God no matter what happens.
"What He is calling for is self denial. Followers of Jesus are to deny themselves any pleasures that stand in the path of glorifying and obeying God."
We assume that when Jesus says we should “deny” ourselves, he is talking only about sinful things. But he is really talking about the whole world of external attachment! In the context of properly “counting the cost” of becoming his disciple, Jesus states: “. . . Whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:33, NKJV). When Jesus says, “Whoever desires to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life . . . will find it,” what is he referring to? When you meet someone new and ask questions to learn about their lives, how do they respond? They list their particular collection of attachments to people, things, places, and situations. A Yogic interpretation of this phrase would be “whoever desires to save his collection of attachments will lose his core spiritual nature, and whoever loses his collection of attachments will find his core spiritual nature.” (https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pdf/146_30-45.pdf)
